Changing Perspectives on Growth: Shifting from “Enough” to Expanding Your Capacity

Introduction 

The disappointment on my professor's face was palpable. Although she’d been in a wheelchair since the age of one, she was a Paralympic athlete who had just returned from Brazil with her third bronze medal. Many would celebrate this incredible feat—few athletes walk away with not just one but three bronze medals from the Paralympics. But for her, it wasn’t enough, because it wasn’t a gold medal. 

This perspective of “enough” can rob an Olympic athlete of the joy of winning a bronze medal. I know I can relate. In my own life, I’ve had genuine accomplishments diminished by my relentless drive to measure up. Seeing that disappointment on her face echoed through my heart. I’d been there—not as a Paralympic athlete, but in my own ways—achieving something amazing, only to have the pain of “falling short” cast a shadow over my fulfillment. 

Yet, in reflecting on both her story and my own, I realized something crucial: striving to be “enough” is a race we can never truly win. Instead, I started asking a different question—one focused not on meeting an elusive standard, but on enlarging my capacity for growth, fulfillment, and possibility. 

From Chasing Enoughness to Expanding Capacity 

Chasing after some invisible standard of enoughness—in work, in relationships, in life is exhausting. And no matter how much I achieved, it never truly felt like enough. Maybe you’ve felt this too. 

The pressure to be enough keeps us in an endless cycle of comparison and striving. We look for validation outside of ourselves, measuring our worth by success, approval, or achievement. And yet, the goalpost always moves. However, looking around it seems this perspective is what society has normalized. I was not aware of any other perspective so for the longest time I struggled to be enough.  

My turning point came when I realized that I was asking the wrong questions. Instead of constantly wondering, “Am I enough?”, my life transformed when I started asking "How is this expanding my capacity to experience and receive life? 

The Shift from Enoughness to Capacity 

Enoughness is a game we never win. It keeps us looking backward, asking if we measure up. But capacity invites growth. It shifts the focus forward, inviting us to step into more of who we are. 

Rather than questioning your worth, try asking yourself: 

• How can I increase my capacity to receive? – Love, support, joy, and success aren’t things we earn by proving ourselves. They’re gifts we allow in. 
• How can I expand my capacity to support and be supported? – True strength isn’t self-sufficiency; it’s knowing when to hold space for others and when to let others hold space for you. 
• How can I grow into the life I truly desire? – Instead of fighting for a sense of worthiness, what if you started moving toward the life that actually fulfills you? 

This shift changed everything for me. Instead of defending my worth, I started opening myself to more—more authenticity, more creativity, more fulfillment. I let go of proving and started expanding. 

And I invite you to do the same. 

What Perspective Are You Living From? 

So, let me ask you—are you stuck in the cycle of enoughness, or are you expanding your capacity? 

What would change if you stopped striving to be enough and started growing into more of who you already are? 

Ryan Rivers is a life coach who specilizes in embodyed mindset coaching.